About Me

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Welcome. I'm an academic fundraiser and writer.

Friday, December 9, 2011

Other Duties as Assigned...

For those of you starting out in the nonprofit sector, you may be surprised by the kinds of tasks you’ll be asked to take on. It doesn’t matter how educated you are. Doesn’t matter if you, say, went to Wellesley and graduated summa cum laude. Master’s in Philosophy? You can take that degree all the way to this here receptionist’s seat, thank you.

My first nonprofit job was as the teacher for a women’s shelter in Tijuana. While you might think that stunning paper I’d written in grad school on Leibniz got me the job, it was actually my work with the American Friends Service Committee documenting human rights abuses along the border that did the trick. The women’s shelter, Centro Madre Assunta, was run by an order of nuns from Brazil, and catered to women from other parts of Mexico who had come to Tijuana looking for work in the NAFTA-generated maquiladoras, along with women deported from el otro lado—the other side. (San Diego, my old home.) One of the residents, Rosa María, who was to become a close friend, had come to Tijuana to take some classes.

When viewed through the iron gates that harbored it from the city, the Centro appeared minimalist, a paved courtyard with a few trees plus a dorm building to the side. Behind the dormitory was la casita—a little house with a blackboard, TV, and games for the children who accompanied their moms to the shelter. The Center’s director, a loving but serious nun named Madre Gemma Lisot, showed me around and explained that my job was to teach all of the kids who showed up, and to keep the casita clean and in good order. After a quick tutorial, and for a $70 a week salary, I became the teacher.

And teach I did. My classes redefined the meaning of “mixed age group.” Some days, there would be moms and babies together with tweeners and teens in that casita. They came every day grateful to keep up their studies in any way, since the children obviously were missing school during whatever transition their family was undergoing. The kids, in fact, instructed me as much as I instructed them. And I don’t mean instructed figuratively as in, “thanks to these kids, I learned how precious life is.” I mean instructed literally, as in, “hey teacher, do you know you just told us that ‘Education will set you free-of-charge’”?

At the end of each day, after dinner, I would unlock the casita, straighten up the toys, and sweep and mop the place spotless. Part of my motivation in doing a good job was to humanize my people—my fellow Americans—and show that we actually do know how to clean up our own messes. We’re not just the blowhards to the North. Cleaning wasn’t that hard at all—just sweep it out, run the mop along the floor, and así.

One evening, a few weeks into my tenure, Madre Gemma invited me to check on the Casita with her. She glumly opened the door to the schoolroom.

“You see, Kenna,” she said, sweeping her arm around the place, “the casita isn’t really very clean.” She pointed to some shoe marks on the floor and some dried mop tracks.

“No es limpio,” she emphasized. Spanish was her second language too, so she always kept it simple with me.

“Ok, sí, Madre Gemma.”

“Tu tienes que hacer mejor trabajo,” she proposed.

“I’m sorry, Madre.” I promised to do better.

She swished off in her habit. After she had left, Rosa María walked up.

“I see that Madre Gemma isn’t happy with your cleaning job?”

Rosa María had a wonderful way of signifying through subtle inflection that I was just the slightest bit…laughable.

“Apparently not.”

“Well, Kenna,” she said, grabbing the mop. “Let’s see.” And she set herself to show me how to clean. How to really clean.

First, you sweep the place to death. Then, mix the detergent in the bucket, don’t just spray the floor with the 409. Then, mop every crevice. Next, you rinse the mop and wring it out with your hands. And last, you go over the entire place a second time, with the dry mop. You see? Your turn.

That was cleaning.

Rosa María patted my shoulder.

“Muy bien, Kennita!” she said. “Ya eres maestra.”

You’re the teacher now. Of course, the christening was another moment of burlesque on Rosa’s part, because we all knew I was the learner here. I had, through my previous half-ass cleaning job, neatly confirmed the stereotype of Americans as douchebags.

Perfecting the part of janitor will not necessarily prepare you to become Executive Director, but most of you who have chosen to pursue nonprofit careers have entered a world where low overhead budgets mean most everyone is expected to hustle. True, your friends working on Wall Street, or even on Main Street, may have a custodian to empty their trash. But you have something they don’t. The answer to what that something is cannot be named in a witty epigram at the end of a blog.

For me, that “something” was the smiling kids running to the gate every morning, at the sound of my Tercel, calling, “Maestra!” For you, it will be something else. Meanwhile, the shock of the presumptively menial will wear off as you realize that you have accumulated a ton of experience along the way. Despite having to mop the floors.

Or perhaps, because of it.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Today in New Haven

Some cities become associated with certain words. I think of Atlanta and its many streets named "peachtree." Peach trees were not indigenous to Atlanta; indeed, the name may have come from a Creek Indian reference to a pine, or pitch, tree.

If anything, New Haven's word is "amistad," Spanish for "friendship." Drive around in New Haven, you will find the Amistad School, Amistad Street, an Amistad building, and a monument to Mende slaves on a Spanish ship named La Amistad, who overthrew their captors.

And yet, much like Atlanta and the peach tree, the origin of "amistad" in New Haven has little to do with friendship. As New Haveners know, the derivation comes from that Spanish schooner La Amistad, which was taken over by its West African captives in 1839. The mutineers managed to sail it to Long Island, where they were soon imprisoned in Connecticut, where slavery was still legal. The Africans wound up in a New Haven jail, finding advocates among New Haven’s abolitionists who were willing to take their case to the Supreme Court. In 1841, the Africans were finally set free.

Despite the depraved activities of La Amistad, the name is worn with pride in New Haven. And why not? Ultimately, the West Africans were freed. And New Haven helped. So, we reclaim that ship named friendship. We christen a public school after it, to show that our city--one of great diversity--is also one of friendship. Yet associating New Haven with this happy metaphor alone obscures the cargo that we as a community bear: despite its culture and its heritage, New Haven is a city where 40 percent of children live in poverty, most of them children of color. Despite celebrated progress, New Haven has twice the number of violent crimes per capita than comparable cities.

Last week, a murder took place at research facility in New Haven named the Amistad Street Building. My heart breaks for the young woman, Annie Le, for her family, and for others close to her. Their grief must be unthinkable. Yet, in a different way, my heart also breaks for New Haven, which has tried through the years to rebrand itself by unearthing its past, dusting it off, and reexamining it under the light of hope.

I am not sure how this can be done. I am not sure how our New Haven will live through such evil visited upon us. And while Annie's case is known, what it brings to my mind--given the name of the building that binds so much of New Haven together--are the other victims of violence in New Haven, those known only to their loved ones. There have been a half-dozen people murdered in New Haven so far this year. There are countless others who suffer the injustice of want, in a community of plenty. May we remember Annie. May we remember them all. May we be worthy of our name.

Monday, February 16, 2009

War's Heir

“One need not be a chamber to be haunted, one need not be a house.”
-Emily Dickinson

Everything is haunted. I walk past the schoolyard, past the playground. Past the crumbling brick wall that once held encroaching woods at bay. I see the ghosts of the players, in the basketball winding across the court and the scattering leaves chasing one another. I feel the spirit of the children who roamed these fields shouting, whispering, tagging and hugging each other through the hints of fall, the whistling winter and the spring’s rain. Recess never demurred.

In the wind’s rush around the school building, I hear the morning notes of the band tuning up. In the babble of the boundary stream, I hear the engines of the yellow diesel buses, come to take us home.

In the silence, I hear my eternal past.

In the dilapidated walls of the building, ivy pushes mortar apart from brick. I open the blue door, whose rectangular panel of cross-hatched glass is blown out. The door swings wide, willingly, its spring disabled. My hand crashes into the wall.

Rubble steeps either side of the hallway. There are holes in the ceiling—no, vast surface areas of light illuminating the corridors. The mural once depicting black, brown, and pale students is charred beyond recognition. Underneath an overturned desk lie green shards of a chalkboard. Pythagoras outlined in yellow. Remarkably, the doormats are pristine, undisturbed.

I freeze. Yes, haunting is everywhere. There is a need for flight. Still frozen, I can only turn and gaze through the door into the field, past the asphalt and the brick wall, toward the stream.

Waiting to crumble to dust.

Sunday, February 1, 2009

New story posted

Check out my new story in the Battered Suitcase here.